Comments on: A Polymer Clay Tribute, In Loving Memory of Vance, Her Biggest Fan

By: carolyn

carolyn — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 11:48:49 +0000

Jackie – My heart goes out to you … I know what you are feeling and the ache that is in your heart. My husband of 43 years, Don, my best friend and strongest supporter, died on April 28, 2009 – the day before my birthday. Four years ago he was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome, a rare bone marrow disease and was given 2 weeks to live. God granted us four more years together. In September I went on a solo motorhome trip which lasted 2 1/2 months. It was a healing trip, visiting some loved ones and meeting new people. I have been a wire artist for about 7 years and taught some workshops at a church in Loveland, CO. One of my students showed me her polymer clay work and I started this new art, combining it with my wire art. How I wish my Don could see what I am doing now … well, maybe he does! I know he is with the Lord which he had been looking forward to. God gives me strength, yet at times I crumble into a heap of tears and agony. I look at those times as cleansing a wound so it will heal better. I do not feel guilty when the pain overwhelms me. I know it is part of the process. I have a friend at my church who lost her husband very suddenly. We have talked often, wondering whether it is worse to lose a spouse so quickly or to watch him begin to waste away as my Don did. The only thing about Don that never faded was his love for me and his encouragement. Well, Jackie, I started writing in order to comfort you but find I just talked about myself. I guess I needed that and maybe you can find some comfort in knowing that someone else truly does know how you feel. I just found Cindy’s site a few days after getting home from my trip around the west/southwest … and 2 days after that I ended up in the hospital with bilateral pneumonia. I got back home right before Thanksgiving and am still in the recuperation stage. Even during this recovery period the hardest thing for me is to go to bed without Don cuddled up next to me. So, here I am writing to you at 3:30 in the morning … and maybe I’m not making much sense. One of the things that has helped me, along with all the prayers and love from others, has been the passage in Psalm 139:16: “Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” This keeps me from feeling any guilt over Don’s death. His death date was known by God even before he was born. There is nothing that I could have done differently to extend that time. And here is another one that helps to hold me together: Psalm 126:5-6: “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” This was the way it was with my motorhome trip. I left home saying, ‘OK, Jesus, where do you want me to go and what do you want me to do. Where you lead me, I will follow.’ And each day I said the same thing. I could almost write a book about where he led me and the seeds of His love that He allowed me to sow in spite of the pain in my heart. I still say that each day and right now all I am hearing is ‘rest and heal’ and finding Cindy and this community of clay artists means the world to me. When Don died I felt my desire to continue my wire art just die right along with him. Cindy and her clay tutorials are inspiring me once again. Most of the jewelry and other items that I make I sell at my church and I give the money to the church. I just pray that folks there will want to buy clay art as well as wire art. This is my main outlet though I do have a website too. I’m anxious to photo and post some of the clay and wire jewelry that I have made, but that will take more energy than I have right now. Jackie, thank you for helping me to unload to someone who does know what I am going through. May God bless you, give you peace and surround you with His love and grace. Most sincerely, Carolyn

By: edie

edie — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 03:56:20 +0000

Jackie,
I’ve lit a candle and will hold you in my thoughts. How blessed you were to share a life with your soulmate! When times feel dark and lonely, I hope you can catch a thread of that love and those smiles to hold on to until the skies lighten and you can feel his touch on the breeze. Those we love are never far from us, I think, no matter how time and space intervene. I’m so glad Vance recognized your talent and your love for clay, and I know that as you continue to play with it you will feel that connection.

Edie

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:15:29 +0000

Jackie,

My Sister lost the Love of Her Life some 6 yrs. ago from a Massive Heart Attack. He was only 52. While I cannot say I know what you went through, I can tell you that living that loss through my Sister, I can empthasize with your loss somewhat..

One reader mentioned you never loose the Love of Your Life when they pass, but it is such a lonely place for the person left behind, even with Family and Friends lending support.

Your husband is guiding you back into something you love, and your work is beautiful.

If you will accept my arms for comfort, they are here for the taking.

Good Luck and God Bless.

By: Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:10:04 +0000

Jackie- I am deeply sorry for your loss, And amazed at the strength you exhibit. Your jewelry is amazing, truly an inspiration to me! Good Luck with your move and hope you continue to do well.

By: Cindy Lietz@Supportive Blog Community

Cindy Lietz@Supportive Blog Community — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:08:55 +0000

Thanks so much, everyone for being so kind and supportive to Jackie. I am truly humbled to see how connected everyone feels, and by how you all have been reaching out to Jackie with so much compassion. You are all very special to me. My deep condolences to Vance’s mom as well. ~Cindy

By: Jackie Norris

Jackie Norris — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:14:47 +0000

I just want everyone one to know again, that words cannot express the things that I am feeling as I read the kind, and sincere words that everyone has said to me. Sometimes I feel so alone with this pain that I just don’t know how anyone survives it. I do know though. It is with friends and family, surrounding you with love and encouragement, like all of you have done for me. It truly says a lot about this community. I look forward to becoming more involved in it. I sent the link to Vance’s mom whom I love dearly. She called me yesterday and she also was so touched by the love and kindness. So again Thank You everyone for the love and kindness you have shown me through this difficult time. I know Vance has his hand on my back gently giving me a nudge to get back to the things that I loved so much doing.

Jackie

By: Polyanya

Polyanya — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 10:04:10 +0000

Dear Jackie, I can’t really add anything more than whats already been said, but you are in my thoughts. I love your work and you should feel very proud of what you are doing. I hope you will feel more able to join in more often very soon and look forward to conversing with you. Love and hugs Iwona

By: Cindy Erickson

Cindy Erickson — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 07:12:03 +0000

Dear Jackie,

I just want to chime in with all of the other angels here to extend loving wishes, and heartfelt prayers for you and yours. I know how difficult it is to lose someone so close, but I also know that your love does still live on, and that you will not ever truly lose him. Please take good care of yourself (extra good care!), and please continue to make your beautiful jewelry. It is a blessing to the world, and will continue to bring you comfort and joy.

Cindy, thank you for sharing this touching, personal and lovely article with all of us. Jackie, thank you for allowing Cindy to share it.

Sincerely,
Cindy E.

By: Penny

Penny — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:41:06 +0000

Jacky – I can truly empathize with you having lost both parents,all grandparents and my guardian in the space of 5 years. I know from experience that you now have a life time to celebrate the life your your loved one who won’t be forgotten.

By: Anna Sabina

Anna Sabina — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:03:37 +0000

Jackie. I cannot say anymore than has already been said in the previous posts. I hope you will follow Peggy’s suggestion to take your different styles and name them after a memory or word of support your husband gave you.
I suggest you make a cane of special meaning to you about Vance. Reduce it to a small size and put one slice somewhere on the on the first bead of every necklace, bracelet of everything you make symbolizing and the beginning of your new journey and honoring his memory. Make a tag to include with the jewelry about the meaning of that special cane slice. You never know who will receive your creations and what impact it will have upon their life.
I am not suggesting you cover the first bead with all the special cane slices. Do your bead design and then decide which will be the first bead and put a small cane slice somewhere on it. when I talk about the first bead I am thinking about something by the closure. We make think of a piece of jewelry as having a two ends. When jewelry is clasped together it is a circle like the circle of life where you cannot determine the beginning nor the end.

Lynn-thanks for the video. Wow.
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